The holidays are running wild. I finally felt what I should have long ago.
His gone.
For a holiday.
lol.
Been quite lonely. Waking up without an objective of the day. I'm going wild.
I'm out of my own control. Its time... I found a new source.
Of warmth.
He will be gone one day. I can't lost myself when he's gone. I'm a women. A DANG RIGHT WOMEN. I have my own life.
My own life.
Where is it?
I want to be what I wish to be but I can't. The one I wish to be is a dream me. Not the stupid normal dream me like every other dang teenager wants. Probably because that's actually they're current status.
I have to be more successful than every of my friends and live a life they can never live. That's the life I want to live and I'm no where near it.
I need something to push me. Some beginners luck as a starting pistol. He is....
Everything that stops me from getting that push.
That dark desire that I just can't let go.
Help..
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