Day 3...

When I woke up today, I actually felt really optimistic about today. That was until the middle of the day.

That was when all my happy, colourful me turn into transparent running water. Running slowly toward the wide blue sea. Turning into nothing when reaching the sea.

Nobody can ever understand how I feel. Nobody. Even me. I want my source of warmth. Really bad. The more I want it, the more I will be afraid of loosing it.

Jealousy, envy.

2 very powerful feelings.

Controlled my innocence mind.

I want to run away. Away to an unknown place. Where I will never have to face it again. Coward doing.

I want to face it. Head-on. Strong-minded. Understanding my stance and my rights.

2 different options. 2 different destiny. 1 person.

I want to stand strong and face it but I don't have the guts. I don't want to run away like I always do. Life is a war.

But that can't happen.

Reality can never clash with fantasy.

Never.

I cannot turn for help. Because there is no help there for me.

I want to go home. I can't because I am home.

Home.

Is this route I am taking leading me to suicide? Maybe.

Maybe.

I love dresses. I hope it can help me feel better.

Black and red. A ribbon. Laces.

Strangers.

The first time I poured my heart out to a stranger and it made me feel a lot better. Then I know, he is no stranger, he is a fated friend of mine. Probably from my past life.

The storm is coming. Time will tell the story.

Time.